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Sunday 29 July 2012

Lympic flamin Tites...

Hiya...well all the hyp after me raydio intervew has died down...i woz mobbed...even on me till...i'm waitin for the fone call to host the lottery on wendsdee...So...these Lympics hav kicked off...dont i bleedin now it...i set meself up on Fridee nite wiv a few boxes of Lambrini pitched up at Gay Gary's place wiv me gays...i woz sweatin like a pig so i took off me tites...big mistake...i ad them rapped rownd me rist...boys put some Jack flags on me to get in the mood then lit me sparklers...sweet baby yazu I nearly went up like a friggin cathrin weel...it was like someone had lit a match in the blowse sekshon of Primark...me tites got kort on the sparkler an that woz it....thay all thort it was histerikal...well here's the rezult - 
its tort me a valewbel lesson tho....sparklers n primarni tites dont mix...look at the mess...theres a few more wears in them yet so i've Tweeted Heather Mills to see if sheez interested...I'm a slave to me charity work...she must be down to her last zillion pownds now after fleecin Sir Paul of the Makartnee...On a liter note tho me diet is goin well...if yer remember I'm doin Tighter Life...not to be mixed up with Lighter Life were yer pay a bleedin fortchoon to drink a load of shite shakes...I just wear me old clothes that dont fit an get so unkomfortable yer carnt eat...I've got into an old pair of me leggins... I'm made up...look - 
i'm ded made up...i'm lookin like Leena Zaveroni in Leggins...even got into a new skirt...just...me gays dont like the skirt thay say its like a fanny pelmit...never heard of her...must be some posh designer...only lable I wear is drip dry only...sayin that the garjus Mark Heyes from Skotch Lorraine Kellys show is keepin an eye on me fashon...he Tweeted me the other day to say I was so with it...I reckon heez got the horn for me...imagine him as me boyfriend...i'd be even more like a supermodel than I am now...
i woz doin some charity work the other day...yer know I help the ald ladys who work at the charity shops...I go thru the bags on the steps so theres not as much for them to do when they get in in the mornin...I looked up an saw this...i was sent back to me childhood dreamin of bein Lady Prinsess Diana of the Hearts...i cudnt help but wonder if i'll ever find Mr rite...i can dream carnt I...rite I'm off to nosey nayborhood watch mans house for me roast dinner...I did me window in me nickers and bra as usual an he was out washin his Vulva on the drive...he was over like a shot...Lamb again I hope...i like to tease him wiv me Lamb bone trick...he's praktikally bangin his nob on the formica...catch yerz all later....enjoy the Lympics...remember to keep yer tites away from sparklers.... xxxx
 can't leave this entree wivout menshonin some of me loyal Bevettes...Hellie, Helen, Stacey and Becky...all got together to have a Lympic swaray...an I missed it...was doin me komunitee service...these girls have bin a great support an do a grate job...thanks gerls...luv yerz all...check out the number plate - 
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                                      *********** Happy Lympics 2012***********

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