Eamonn oh Eamonn I watch you from afar,
You on me box, and me at the bar.
Your cute wee smile, charm and wit,
With all the ladies you are a hit.
From early days on morning telly,
When you shared a sofa with Lozza Kelly.
Never change your style we love the Holmes way,
For many a viewer you make their day.
Sat on Sky with Charlotte Naz n Jacks,
All the girls cringing at the jokes he cracks.
Everyone can see the great team you make,
You even match the girls with their fake bake.
With your lovely wife and TV partner Ruth,
You are Mr and Mrs TV couth.
With Sunrise, This Morning and Loose Women,
In wads of dosh you must be swimmin.
Family life takes place in Surrey
Busy days always in a hurry.
But come the evening with hatches down,
Feet up with a beer football sorrows you drown.
Poor old Ruth not a football fan,
Puts up with it all to please her man.
She rewards herself for not having a moan,
With hundreds of candles from Jo Malone.
Alas my ditty is coming to an end,
To you Ruth and family my love I do send.
If you fancy a night with a Pound shop shelf stacker,
Give me a call, the name’s Beverly Macca.