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Thursday 9 June 2011

bevs home

cuntinamera waheela cuntinamera cuntinameeeeera. god i love that song. its gonna be me fave on me ipod. well im back home an its friggin freezin. i only ad me bikini top n me fanny pelmet on wen we landed. cheeky gets on the flite asked us to buy 2 seats. i mean ive put on a cuple of holiday stone but i aint that big. told em to shit off in inglish but i think thay new wot i ment. im gonna go an live in spayne one day. ive ad 3 peels on me back an 2 on me face which twiggy helped to get rid of. them suntan things are crap. i ad factor 2 mazola an it did frig all. managed to get 10000 lambert an butler thru so if yer need any there £30 a box. d'ya like me donkey. a lovely man gave us it as a gift in the airport in spayne. wot a cowinsidense he had a frend waitin at the airport here wen we landed who said he needed to check the donkey was ok for children as his frend in spayne was worried. it woz ok but he said the bag on its side with the donkey food in wasnt safe so he took that away. ded kind of him goin to all that truble.

well ive ad a bit of bad news today. got me compensayshon check for bein twatted by a smart car. 98p. turns out LLB on the company paper aint the legal kwalificashon. its Leeroys Legal Blag. some dodgy get that woz recommended to us at the feathers. if yer read the small print it says we take 99% of any compensayshon. i thort it said we get it. so it means im back at poundland next week. gutted. twigs aint got much compo left either so ill be on the hunt for a new man soon. lock up yer fellas bevs goin on a manhunt.

just gonna do a holiday wash. iv ad to throw me tights out they were rock ard and snaped wen i tried to fold them to pack. i blame the heat. twiggs blamed me gash. gonna go for a few bevs later an gonna wear white too to show off me tan. skank face denise will be ded jelus. theyve just been to presthaven sands in a caravan with the kids. i wudnt tuch wales an caravans with a shitty stick anymore. ive ad luxury. laters amigows.

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